You Can't Be Successful If You Don't Know What Success Means to You | Solo Episode

The word success gets used more often than almost any other word in professional development conversations, and almost no one stops to ask what it actually means to them personally. They are chasing something they have never defined. They are measuring themselves against a standard they never chose.

That is not ambition. That is confusion with a busy schedule attached to it.

My Definition of Success

I define success as freedom. Not freedom in an abstract philosophical sense. Freedom in a specific, practical sense: the ability to spend my time on what matters to me, with the people who matter to me, in a way that reflects my values.

That definition shapes every decision I make. When someone offers me an opportunity, I ask whether it moves me toward more freedom or less. When I evaluate a goal, I ask whether achieving it would make my life look more like my definition of success or less.

A definition of success is the most important communication tool you have when it comes to your own life. Without it, you are open to whatever anyone else decides success should look like for you.

The Vision Board Exercise

I challenge every listener to do two things. First, build a vision board. Not because vision boards are magic, but because the act of collecting images that represent what you want forces you to articulate what you want. You cannot pick an image of something vague. Specificity is built into the exercise.

Second, describe your perfect day in writing. Start from when you wake up. Where are you? Who is there? What do you do in the first hour? What does the afternoon look like? How do you feel at the end of it?

If you cannot write that description, you do not yet have a clear enough picture of success to build toward it. The inability to describe your perfect day is not a minor gap. It is the central problem. You cannot navigate toward a destination you cannot describe.

Why Most People Chase Someone Else's Success

We absorb definitions of success from everywhere: parents, culture, social media, peer groups, industry norms. By the time most professionals are in their thirties, they are working toward a version of success they adopted somewhere between childhood and their first job without ever questioning whether it was theirs.

The markers of conventional success are well-known: title, salary, house size, car, neighborhood. Some of those things might genuinely matter to you. Some might not. The question is whether you have actually sat down and decided which ones, or whether you are just defaulting to the list everyone handed you.

Leadership starts with self-awareness, and self-awareness starts with knowing what you actually want. Not what you should want. Not what sounds impressive. What you actually want when no one is watching and no one is evaluating.

How to Communicate Your Success Definition to Others

Once you have your definition, you need to be able to communicate it. Not to justify yourself, but to make decisions faster, to build the right relationships, and to attract opportunities that actually fit.

When someone asks what you are working toward, the ability to answer that question clearly is a communication skill that most people underestimate. It tells people what kind of partner you are. It tells collaborators what you are optimizing for. It tells you which doors to open and which to leave closed.

Vague answers like "I want to grow" or "I want to be successful" communicate nothing. Specific answers open doors.

Key Takeaways from This Episode

1. Success is not a universal standard. It is a personal definition. If you have not made it yours, you are chasing someone else's.

2. David defines success as freedom: the ability to spend time on what matters with the people who matter.

3. Build a vision board and write your perfect day in detail. If you cannot describe it, you cannot build toward it.

4. Most professionals are working toward definitions of success they absorbed rather than chose. The audit is worth doing.

5. The ability to articulate what you want is a communication skill that affects every professional relationship and opportunity you encounter.

About This Episode

This is a solo episode of Conversations That Count with David Shaft. David is a banking director, professional development advocate, and host of a leadership podcast built for people who want to lead themselves before they lead anyone else.

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