If You Don't Know Why You're Doing It, Stop Doing It | Solo Episode

A yoga instructor changed how I think about every decision I make. Not because of yoga. Because she asked one question at the start of every class: why are you here today? Not as a philosophy exercise. As a practice. She wanted you to set an intention before you moved a single inch.

Leadership and communication skills require the same thing. If you cannot answer why, you are not leading. You are reacting.

The Yoga Instructor's Lesson

Setting an intention sounds simple. It is not. Most people walk into a yoga class, a meeting, a conversation, or a new week with zero clarity about what they are trying to accomplish and why. They just show up and respond to whatever happens.

Responding is not the same as leading. In a yoga class, it means you leave exhausted without knowing why. In your career, it means you work constantly without moving in any particular direction. Activity without intention is just motion.

The question she asked at the start of every class is the same one I started asking myself before every meeting, every important conversation, and every quarter: why am I doing this and what do I want to get out of it?

The Difference Between Purpose and Weakness

Here is the distinction that matters most in this episode: there is a real difference between allowing something into your life because it fits your purpose and allowing it because you are too weak to say no.

Both can look identical from the outside. You said yes to something. But the internal experience is completely different. One comes from clarity about what you are building and how this fits into it. The other comes from discomfort with conflict or a fear of disappointing someone.

Professional development means getting honest about which version of yes you are saying. Most of the things draining your energy are things you agreed to without knowing why you were agreeing.

Why You Say Yes Without Knowing Why

The most common reason is social pressure. Someone you respect asks you for something, and saying no feels like rejecting them rather than declining a request. So you say yes. You add it to the list. You resent it by week three and power through anyway.

The second most common reason is fear of missing out. What if this opportunity is the one I needed? What if saying no closes a door I will regret later? That fear is almost never grounded in reality, but it feels real enough to override your judgment.

The third reason is identity confusion. You do not know clearly enough what you are building to evaluate whether a new thing belongs in it. When your purpose is fuzzy, everything looks like it might fit, and you end up with a schedule full of things that fit nothing.

How to Build the Habit of Asking Why

Before every significant commitment, ask: why am I doing this? If you cannot answer that in two sentences, you are not ready to commit. The inability to articulate why is a signal, not a starting point.

This applies to the big decisions: career moves, relationships, long-term projects. It also applies to the small ones: why am I attending this meeting? Why am I having this conversation today? Why am I spending the next two hours on this task?

The people who communicate most effectively are the ones who have done the internal work to know what they stand for. You cannot communicate conviction you do not have. You can only communicate what is already clear to you.

Key Takeaways from This Episode

1. Setting an intention before you begin is a practice, not a philosophy. Ask why before you move.

2. Activity without intention is just motion. A full schedule without direction is not productivity.

3. There is a real difference between saying yes from purpose and saying yes from weakness. Both look the same from the outside.

4. If you cannot answer why you are doing something in two sentences, you are not ready to commit to it.

5. You cannot communicate conviction you do not have. Internal clarity comes before external communication.

About This Episode

This is a solo episode of Conversations That Count with David Shaft. David is a banking director, professional development advocate, and host of a communication podcast built for people who want to communicate with intention, not just volume.

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